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A brand new gym and no one to train!

Well... here we are in lockdown again. I write this blog post with a numb right foot, having sat on it for half an hour in the gym while editing my website. It's a task usually done on the fly between other admin. Today it was fun! It's a clear, bright day, birdsong filtering in through the open sliding door, along with a gentle warmth from the sun in the cloudless sky.

And I am alone. I feel both peaceful and restless. I miss welcoming people to this space. A time set aside to feel rather than think, to learn new things. Pulling away from work, money, family, just for a small slice of time. Feeling the stretch and yawn of stiff muscles. Looking inward.

Last lockdown was horrible. I had a breakdown (and subsequent break through), moved out of my parents home, built this new gym, my long-term partner and I split up, I began a new relationship. So much in such a short time. And my life looks remarkably similar, I have a gym, I am doing online training, I have a partner and a kid, I am living in the same house. But I am so much happier than last time. Rather than my whole body being numb and my mind racing, my mind is calm and it's just my right foot. And I am on my feet now and with a moment of unpleasent tingling, the numbess is gone.

I look over to Scotty, sitting on the table near the door, and I feel so content. Nature sounds, sunlight, my breathing, the tap of my fingertips on the keyboard, the music to this day and mood. No heaviness in my heart, no feeling that something was wrong. I am making time for me. And I have time for you.

May this time feel restful, resorative and be revealing. While I hope that none of you go through what I did, I do hope you get what I got. Peace.


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